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Feb. 7th, 2006 @ 06:12 pm My Grandma...
Current Mood: sadsad
I found out last weekend that my grandmother went into the hospital. She has very bad diabetes, to the point that she is blind and pretty much can't get around because she gained so much weight. When the doctors told her what she had to do to maintain a healthy life (eat right, no sugar, no sodium, etc) she didn't just say "Ok" and then not follow the doc's orders, she actually told the doc "Nope, I will eat what I want when I want and how much I want." and then told the doc that in the end she didn't want to be saved. It is the other people who tell the doctor that they will follow their orders, don't actually follow them, and then want the docs to fix them when they are ill. Not my grandma. She just said "Fuckem!" and did what she wanted to do, which was really, nothing at all.

So, when the home health nurse came to check on her last weekend, grandma was in such bad shape that the nurse told her that if she didn't go to the hospital she would die in an hour. Grandma had been to the hospital just recently before because of the fluid on her lungs, but they sent her home. She really isn't one to go to the doctor anyway. Anyway, they went.

It was bad. They had to put her on a ventilator. She had too much fluid on her lungs that they needed to breathe for her so her body could get enough oxygen. Then, after about 2 days they figured out her DNR request (through word of mouth and her husband and some other family members) and decided that on Wednesday they would take her off the breathing machine. As soon as that decision was made, I told my mom that I would be there the very next night (Tuesday night). There was no way I was going to not be home to see my grandma and really to be there for my mom. She was having such a hard time with it all. It really all was breaking my heart.

I have lived away from home since I was 18 and joined the military. I am 32 now and it seems like I never get to go home enough. I really don't, only about once a year or so. So I rented a car Monday night and Jessica and I drove to Wisconsin Tuesday morning. 14 hours from Shreveport to there.

When I saw grandma Wednesday morning, it was hard. It didn't look like her, but then it did. They had her sedated and of course all hooked up to the machines and their tubes. It is really hard to remember how she looked. Not hard because I can't remember, but hard because it was hard to see her in that state. The hardest part of all was seeing my mom so upset. Then when I saw my whole family at the hospital I had to step back a little so I wouldn't break down. I had kept some pretty dry eyes (once I got to Wisconsin.)
The doctor said that they were going to remove the tubes (extibate) soon, so we needed to get all the family there because grandma's lungs, even on the machines, weren't expelling the carbon dioxide that they need to. She may only live a minute, an hour, a day without the ventilator. But my mom and I were prepared for her to go as soon as they took her off the machines.

Well, she lived for 3 hours after they removed the tubes. THREE HOURS of her almost gasping for breath. Her body was in a reflex mode (even sedated and with morphine) and she would take these big fast breaths of air. It was pretty horrible to watch. She wasn't coherent. She would move her head from side to side like she was struggling with something. She opened her eyes a little around the last hour she was alive, I had said something and it was like she turned her head to look at me because she heard my voice. I am the oldest of all the grandkids and when I come home to visit I always have to make a stop at grandma's before I go home or I get in big trouble...

So, she is gone now. She is in a better place (to repeat the cliché). I really can’t write any more at this moment. I have stopped and come back to finishing this blog so many times that I just need to finish it now. So, I am done. I might write something personal soon so, if the blog after this one is not viewable, you will know why. I just feel like curling into a ball sometimes… then other times I just want to scream. I guess things will get better, but for right now, I am just taking it day by day. Today is a tough day.

Melis
About this Entry
Sep. 15th, 2005 @ 08:46 pm Float Like a butterfly Sting like a Bee!
Current Mood: hornyhorny
Current Music: Ani DiFranco - Going Down
Braggart
You are 71% Rational, 57% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.
You are the Braggart! Like Muhammad Ali, you would surely tell everyone that you are "The Greatest" whilst bragging incessantly about your intelligence, your skills, and your abilities. You tend to be a thinker rather than a feeler, and combined with your extroversion and arrogance, this makes you someone who probably just LOVES to brag about his accomplishments. Despite this, however, you are a very gentle, tender person and truly care about others' feelings. You just happen to care more about yourself. Unlike Ali, of course, you are rather rational as opposed to emotional, and you are also much more gentle. But his arrogance and extroversion best reflect the most visible aspects of your personality. Your personality defect is the fact that you are extremely overconfident, extroverted, and perhaps rather lacking in emotions. YOU ARE THE GREATEST! Or so you keep telling yourself every night, in hopes that eventually everyone else on the planet will agree. Well, sorry, we probably won't.


To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.


Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Bitch-Slap.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Haughty Intellectual, and the Capitalist Pig.

*

*

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.





My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


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You scored higher than 53% on Rationality

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You scored higher than 63% on Extroversion

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You scored higher than 24% on Brutality

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You scored higher than 62% on Arrogance
Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid
About this Entry
Sep. 14th, 2005 @ 10:42 pm Chappelle in a new WHITE?
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Missy Higgins - Ten Days

OMG this is hillarious.. you really have to watch it all the way through! If you are a Dave Chappelle fan you will LYAO!

-Melis

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Sep. 12th, 2005 @ 06:53 pm Unfortunately
Current Mood: relievedrelieved
Current Music: The World I Know - Collective Soul
I just recently had to change my number. I am very sad to have had to do this. However, I see it as being an opportunity to have a new catchy number... LOL. Something good can always come from something bad, whether it is a lesson learned, a new number, or as in this case both.. LOL. I don't mean to trivialize this, but man.. if I can't laugh about it all then hell.

When you tell someone to leave you alone and they just don't. They continue to text you even after you have: 1st asked them to stop, 2nd told them to stop, 3rd yelled at them to stop, and finally 4th, had someone tell them for you. I guess some just can't get the hint. Maybe I should write a song titled "Leave Me The F*** Alone!"

I have a blog on here about my views of the downward spiral of events before/durring/after my recent break up. I have set it to private on here and on my MySpace account because the woman threatened me "Paybacks are hell, Paybacks are Fucking Hell!", and that two could play dirty. It was kind of creepy like she was posessed or something. Well I wasn't playing anything when I was posting it. I wasn't telling people to stay away from her, I wasn't threatening her, I wasn't giving false information. It was merely a sequence of events that described an emotionally unstable persons actions at a certain time. She only proved her instability further with her messages and texts in the following days after the break up. I was also told by her that I was ruining her life by posting this. She later left a message after I told her I was changing my number saying that she didn't care if I changed my number, that I needed to do what I had to, she just wanted me to finally admit that I had ruined her fucking life, and that it was all my fault (she is sobbing this onto the phone by the way). Well, no one ruins your life if you let them, SO that means that your life is in your control. I told her to NOT sell her stuff, I told her to NOT give all her clothes away, she DIDN'T have to leave this area (a friend had offered her a place to stay until her job started). SO... tell me... am I responsible for your decisions? Her life isn't over. She is just fine, she just wants to pile all this shit on top of her to make it look like she can never get out from under it. I really don't have patience for pity parties. Sorry it didn't work out. We wanted the same things, but we forgot to see if we wanted those things from eachother.

So, I had to delete it from blogger.com (it doesn't have an option to make single postings private), I put it as a diary entry at MySpace, and here, I did the same. As far as I know she doesn't know about this blog, but to save argument I did it anyway. Man... she called me 5 times about removing it from blogger. I had removed it already, but her ass didn't realize that unless she refreshed the page she could still see it there. Honey, it isn't going to magically vanish once I hit that button, it is called "REFRESH!"

I don't mean to rehash anything here. Just knowing that I actually felt the need to change my number means that I was just tired of it all.

Finally free,
Melis
About this Entry
Sep. 5th, 2005 @ 04:10 am Wow
This is kind of interestingly true!

Your Hidden Talent
Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.
Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements.

About this Entry
Sep. 5th, 2005 @ 04:04 am HAHAHA
Figures that I would find this and it would tell me about a long story!

Your Fortune Is

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

About this Entry
Sep. 5th, 2005 @ 04:02 am The Curious Silly Putty

Melissa Ann True's Aliases



Your movie star name: Cheese Puffs Tom

Your fashion designer name is Melissa Milan

Your socialite name is Missi Lafayette

Your fly girl / guy name is M Tru

Your detective name is Tiger Beloit Memorial

Your barfly name is Doritos Rum And Diet Coke

Your soap opera name is Ann Central

Your rock star name is Snickers CPU

Your star wars name is Meltyl Trujen

Your punk rock band name is The Curious Silly Putty


About this Entry
Sep. 1st, 2005 @ 12:15 am A few long months
Current Mood: draineddrained
I am not going to even attempt to expalin everything that has happened in the past couple of months. I WILL attempt a brief rundown tho (and for those of you who know me ... it is tough to be brief.. so here goes!)

Met someone,
Started getting involved with her,
She moved down here from TN,
Went home to Wisconsin to visit for about 10 days,
Came home,
Started classes,
Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf like an exgirlfriend with a death wish.
Evacuees are staying in our college gym and a few other shelters here in Shreveport,
Had my CD magazine stolen from my car,
Still working at The Rose Spa,
Just started part-time at the Computer Science Computer Lab at LSUS,

I guess that summs the actual plot of my life so far. Of course there are other things, but I am too damn tired to write more. The journey has seen some ups and downs. I am just ready for everything to level off. I am actually enjoying all my classes so far. I have some great instructors.

Ok, there is your update. I am going to crash into my pillow now and hopefully have some sane/pleasant dreams.... Anyone elses dreams been freaky lately? Maybe the hurricane messed up my dream patterns or something, or the winds are just blowing from a different direction lately. Never know.

Melis
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Jul. 27th, 2005 @ 10:46 pm STRIKE STRIKE STRIKE!!!!
Ok everyone.. you need to go and pass this potato guy... You can boil him mash him or stick him in a stew (well not really but my cousin Emily would be proud you passed her potato!) Just go to this little site and put your crazy zip code in... he is cute... he is the Strike Spud!!

So go HERE and pass him along!!!

Melis
About this Entry
Jul. 25th, 2005 @ 01:34 pm Official Geekdome
Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: Anna Nalick - Forever Love

Yes... you heard it right. Today I have upgraded myself into the level of official geek. I recieved my very first flash drive from newegg.com today.

 Here is more info on it.

I am quite proud of my new geek status. Oh.. by the way, I also passed my Pearson VUE exam so I will now be administering the exams at LSUS, ( basically they are microsoft exams and certifications along with other software exams that are offered by Pearson VUE.) This is just another thing to add to my geekdome..LOL.

But hey, I am a cute geek!

Melis

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